anticipación

As my date of departure fast approaches, I find myself getting cold feet.

I have spent many restless nights fitful with anxiety and apprehension. When I climb into bed, my mind begins to race with anticipation and I am growing quite accustomed to the tangle of bed linens I awake to find myself trapped in each morning.  

Neither my excitement, nor my aspirations have diminished. My yen for adventure, service, and travel remains vibrant. Rather, cognizance of the approaching unknown is toying with my sanity. I am about to bid farewell to a world that is comfortable and friendly. The moment I step off the plane in Lima I will be bombarded by unfamiliars...and I am terrified---I mean excited!  

I feel my ties to home constrict whenever I try to imagine what these next two years will hold. I'm afraid to let go. I am discovering new reserves of patience and fondness for those around me, and while this time ought to be blissful, untroubled, and buoyant, I find myself concurrently burdened with solemnity. Both the organic and the inert stir my emotions as never before. One of my objectives for this trip is to divest myself of materialistic habits, and yet I suddenly look at my car, my books, and my favorite rocking chair with a sense of longing.

I hope Peru will enrich my soul and bestow me with good, lasting friendships. I look forward to the experiences to come and do not wish to demean the excitement I feel by expressing my trepidations. I realize there will be dark days and happy days and I am ready to embrace both with enthusiasm. Bring on the unfamiliar, I say!

Hopefully, Good Bye will be the hardest part.